Book Clubs

I love reading! It’s why I started a book club over twenty years ago, to share that love of reading with my friends, both those who were already bookworms and those new to the joys of a good book.

Beyond the reading itself, though, I love discussing books, hearing other people’s reactions to a story, how it makes them feel, what it makes them think about. I love sharing ideas and perspectives, the rich discussions about a wide variety of topics. I love the connections I’ve forged by talking with smart, interesting, insightful women about books.

I hope that All I Know will inspire similarly rich discussions for your book club. Or, if you don’t have a book club yet, that you might get a group of friends together to talk about All I Know, and then see where it takes you in terms of future reading together.

I would be happy to join your group, either in-person or virtually.

I’ve created a list of discussion questions you might want to use for your book club but please do not limit your discussion exclusively to these questions. Feel free to talk about whatever came up for you while you were reading. We always start our book club with the question, “Did you like the book or not?” I hope you liked this one!

Book Club Discussion Questions

  • As a child, Kai is certain of a great many things. Later, she doubts everything she thought she knew. Eventually she discovers faith in herself and the world. What do you think moved her from one to another? Where do you feel you land, more in the realm of certainty, doubt, or faith, and how did you get there? What about Josh? And Kade?

  • Kai’s relationship with Josh has many iterations. Were there times you did and did not want them to end up together? What was it about Josh that drew Kai to him early on? Do you think those reasons stayed the same or changed throughout the story? Do you think things will work out for them?

  • Kai and Josh’s experiences in their families of origin impact their romantic relationship. How do you think certain choices they made as adults were linked to their experiences when they were young? How about for you?

  • There are three unique depictions of marriage in the book, Kai’s parents, Josh’s parents and Kai’s with Erik. What did you think were the strengths and weaknesses of each of them? What did you think about Jaimie’s observation about recurring arguments and dealbreakers versus price-of-admission (pages 269-271)? Have you experienced these things in your relationship?

  • Kai’s mom, Tammy, is a force to be reckoned with during much of the book. How did you feel when she was strong and when she wasn’t? Did those same feelings come up when Kai was strong and not, or did you respond differently to their different struggles?

  • Tammy talks with Kai a few times about reasons being different than excuses, the first of which happens when Kai yells at Stephanie during dinner (page 25). Do you agree that reasons are different than excuses? How so or why not?

  • Tammy provides advice, guidance and support to Kai at several points in the story. What did you think of their relationship overall? How did you feel about how Tammy supported each of her children, and would you have liked for her to do anything differently?

  • How did you feel about both Kai’s dad and Josh’s dad? Did you have any empathy for them? Were there any ways in which they were good fathers? What did you think when Kai’s dad shared advice about Erik’s drinking toward the end of the book?

  • What did you think of Kai’s friendship with Danielle? With Steph? What were the strengths and problems in those friendships? How did they help Kai grow and thrive, or not? Talk about friends you’ve had who influenced your life in big and small ways. Who do you go to when you need support? Who is it you most rely upon?

  • Being a twin and then losing Kade is a defining part of Kai’s story. What did you think of their relationship? How did you feel about Kade’s struggles?

  • Did you learn anything about addiction and/or other mental health challenges by reading this book? Did it change your perspective on any of those things? Do you have any personal experiences with mental health struggles?